At 47, my life is beginning to feel like a blur, a concoction of amazing, beautiful, and painful relationships with women, friendships adorned with gifts of qualities and lessons, pain, betrayal, and laughter. Together these relationships have been contributors to my growth and development as a strong, independent, yet soft and caring woman. The latter is something I’ve had to work to develop. I had become hardened from the pain of bullying and abuse. As my Unleash Her Power Within teacher, Klarrisa Kouchis, teaches, “We can hold it all.”
When I was young, and in grade school, I had some experiences with girls that hurt me to my core. I was a sensitive young lady and I cared deeply for my friends. I had one friend who decided she needed to be the “leader” of the group and put herself in charge of who was to be included in the recess activities at school. If someone stepped out of line and wanted to freely choose an activity on the playground and others followed, this could be grounds for being uninvited to the group for the day or even a social activity outside of school that we’d be looking forward to.
This was my first, and unfortunately not the last encounter with a girl wanting to hold me back from bringing my true self to the world. The accepted group rule was that if I expressed myself freely and fully, I could be left out and shunned by the group, by those who I thought were my friends.
There were several of these relationships in my life until at the age of 24 and I was expecting my first child, a girl, I finally decided it was time to take a stand, to stand for my freedom, my ability to be who God created me to be…fun-loving, kind, funny, filled with joy, open and all of the other complexities of me. I was having a daughter, and I knew that if I didn’t conquer my fear of what others thought of me now, I could pass this along to her. This was my moment of decision. At this moment, I chose myself and I chose to be a Mom who empowers her daughters. I chose the empowered me, the authentic Brooke, the one that the healthy and loving women I have in my life now, love, and I love them right back!
If you are struggling with relationships that are conditional, asking you to change who you are to give them control or something they are lacking, it’s time to choose you. Apart from God, you are the best friend you will ever have. Honor you and let go of women (or anyone :))who don’t lift you up to be the best you can be and allow you to freely choose how you will show up in the world!